I’ve skipped a few months around here, but Eliza you are thirteen months old. I need to keep jotting down some notes so I remember what you’re up these days!

Well, you’re still getting over your first cold/ear infection. Fun stuff (not so much).

The beginning of this month (may 5th) you took your first steps!  We’d been trying to get you to do it for awhile, but you just decided to try it out in your own time. You’ve done it a few times since, but mostly when we try and get you to walk you laugh at us. Its a start though!

You are learning more signs and have a few words I think. You know the signs for more, eat, baby (a new one), milk. Words could include: all done, out (for outside), dad/a and mama. I don’t hear them all on a consistent basis, which makes me wonder, but you are a chatter box sometimes. I love to listen to you as you play with your toys.

Eliza, you play all the time … with toys and non-toys. I love to see you hold items up to your ear like you’re talking on the telephone. Or, pulling things out of kitchen cabinets. Or banging two balls together and dropping them. You also love your new water table and slide…you are turning into quite the climber!

We put you in the pool for the first time this year this month. You’re pretty content to hang out in your floaty and play with some toys. Considering how much you love to be outside (you try to open the back door) we’ll be swimming a lot this summer!

If anyone says the word outside you get sooo excited. I think you’d spend all day out there if you could.

You don’t watch a lot of tv, no real need for it, but baby signing time does help me get dinner ready on your clingier days. It doesn’t hold your attention for long, but enough for me to get a few things done. You’re good about playing independently when someone’s in the same room as you, but if we’re not you’re often coming to see what we’re doing.

Lots of love little one — can’t wait to see you grow and grow!

 

Before I had E I thought I’d be a mother that wouldn’t have any problems leaving her child. If I went back to work? fine. Shopping? awesome. Babysitter? sure.

That turned out to…not be the case. Oh, I have no issues leaving her with family. And I love to get out and do things without her. Which rarely happens these days. Being in the military we aren’t that close to home. My excitement usually consists of going to the grocery store by myself.

I’ve been wanting to join the local Y for awhile now. They have free childcare about which I’d heard good things. But, for awhile I just didn’t do it. I just dragged my feet. Hello first time mom anxiety.

Finally, this weekend we signed up. This was the second tour of the facility I’d had (hey, hey, sometimes it takes me awhile..). This morning I took her in, handed her over and walked out to the gym. I worked out for about thirty minutes and then went back in to get her.

She was fine. Didn’t fuss at all and was playing with a toy .. she did whine a bit when she saw me, but that was all.

One successful day. I am such a wimp for not taking her earlier. I think its good for her and me. We’ll see how she does the next few times, but she totally proved me wrong today.

 

A little of this; A little of that….

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family tidbits

Eliza is so close to walking, but hasn’t yet. I’m excited for her and yet not ready to run after her … I’ve still got some speed on her fast crawl

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I think we may have her first word, well really, her first sign. Apparently signing more means I want something to eat.  ooookay, we’ll run with it. Especially since she needs to beef up a bit per the ped.

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I’ve slowly realized that she’s imitating a lot more than I thought, mostly consisting of vowels. I love hearing her jabbering away while she plays.

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I know Scott works hard. He’s a great help and will jump up when I ask … but I wish he’d be a bit more spontaneous and just do something instead of waiting till I ask. But, then I’m not ready for him to deploy either later this year. Not that one’s ever ready…

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Taking E to the doctor kinda stresses me out. It always a weight issue…has she gained enough? is she still falliing on the growth charts? We have to go back sometime in May just to check in and see how she’s doing. She’s doing perfectly, thank you for asking.

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Within this year, we’ll be going thru another deployment.

This will be our third; circumstances are different — namely we have a small person among our midst and there’s a house to maintain.

It won’t be the longest one (that was 15 months during the troop surge), but honestly? It doesn’t matter how long it is. They’re gone. Whether its two weeks, two months or a year. Gone is gone.

I’m worried about it — there’s a yard to mow, a pool to take care of, a little one to parent, a dog to feed, laundry…well, you know, everything to do.

Gah — if I’d known he was very seriously considering getting out of the Army I would have done quite a few things differently. But, what’s done is done.

Its very likely this will be his last. I have such mixed feelings about it actually … but in the end it’ll be his decision. The thing is? Saying good-bye is heartwrenching. Truly makes my heart hurt in ways I can’t explain. Being left behind and watching them walk away is tough. But … but but but. I’m not the one that walks away. I’m not the one that won’t see Eliza turn two or celebrate Christmas with her. I’m not the one that’ll miss the daily things that happen, the new skills she learns. Oh, sure we’ll send videos, skype — all that good stuff. But gone is gone.

I read this about staying home from war and I could totally relate.

The thing is — I am so grateful for our life. so so grateful. we have good things; a house, a baby, a dog, family … the things that are a challenge are also such a blessing. Though what they are seems to change by the day

And — I have no clever way to end this except maybe the end? ha! Maybe I’ll have to re-read this when I’m complaining about his dirty laundry on the floor or some other such annoyance….

Today is one of those days.

One of those days where you feel like you don’t get anything done.

More laundry than time to get it done.

More clinging/whining from your toddler.

More stuff to pick up. More things that need to be cleaned.

Just one of those days when the half empty creeps in … the I wish I was better at cleaning/time management/baby entertaining/getting my sh*t done days.

sigh.

 

 

Spring in Georgia is awesome.

Well, sort of. There are lots of great things about it — planting a garden/flowers, warming up for pool time, etc.

There’s just one thing that I can’t stand about living around here: bugs.

Honestly, its been warm enough this year so that we’ve got something year round. Things do die down during winter though … but now? the fun is just beginning.

The sand gnats come out first and are pesky little things, then the mosquitoes, next the deerflies — which are no fun unless one likes being swarmed while outside. The deerflies really only last a month or so, thank goodness.

But, whatever. Those I can deal with. The ones I can’t? roaches I hate to even say that word. They are enormous, they are fast and they are unpleasent.

We have a bug guy/guys. They come out and spray every few months, but inevitably some do end up in the house. I don’t like squishing them, but really I don’t even like to pick them up when they’re dead. Ugh. Usually Scott gets them, although I have taken care of some.

Now that E is on the move? I love them even less. What if she picks one up? Ew ew ew. She may need more calories, but that is just.to.much for me.

I’ve gotten better at not screaming when I see one — I don’t want to teach her to freak out, but this summer is going to be more practice for me … next spring/summer Scott won’t be here. He’ll be deployed — not much he can do from across the ocean. So, I’m gonna have to suck it up.

Just another skill to add to the repetoire. right? yeah, I got this.

maybe.

It’s official

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one year old

Long time, no see?  I honestly don’t know where the time went. I’ve really got to try and be better about this blogging thing…

Last week, this happened:

Yeah.

I have no good words at the moment. All the usual phrases: I can’t believe it and where has the time gone? are true. This year has really flown …

We are blessed.

Love you sweet girl.

The Monday Real

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the monday real

Linking up with Jess this week!

Honestly? I don’t even know where to start. So it’ll probably be pretty random, but here goes nothin’.

~I only have one child, 11 months, and yet? everything seems so.much.harder. Keep the house clean? forget it. put clean laundry away? maybe tomorrow. walk the dog? if I’m lucky.

~These days I get irritated a little easier at my husband. He’s a wonderful dad and he does help around the house. But, sometimes I’d wish he’d do a little more…spontaneously. If I ask, its usually done. My wish? to have him randomly pick up just because. I know I’m home with E now, but that doesn’t mean I can do it all.

~We have an italian greyhound. Super affectionate. Not the independent type. So when it rained all day sat.? I had to drag her outside otherwise she woulda peed in the house. She doesn’t like being wet or alone. Sometimes I wish we didn’t have a dog.

Uh oh. Today isn’t my day…it really sounds like I’m complaining. I do love my life. But, I guess the reality is that this life-where-you-have-to-take-care-of-little-people is everything and nothing like I thought it would be

 

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nine to ten months

At the end of last month Eliza turned ten months old. I seriously cannot believe we’re closing in on a year. WOW.

I’m getting closer to having a toddler and not a baby..so.not.ready.

What have you been doing during your ninth month ‘lil E?

Well, a LOT of this:

Yep. You were working on pulling to stand. You weren’t quite ready to do it on your own, but loved being put in a standing position. You would stand at the windowsill, table, or any surface and bang on it with your hand or toy.

You also learned to sit up from your tummy and sit down when you were standing.  We officially lowered your crib when you started to pull up. For you, your crib is the last place you perfect your skills. You were rolling, sitting and pulling up on the floor long before you ever did it in your crib.

What else?

You started your love affair with swinging — you love being outside! Meli received a lot more attention this past month…she’s deciding more and more to head the other way when she sees you coming…

Eliza, I don’t know what happened over Christmas but when we got back you insisted on feeding yourself. I’m lucky if I get some yogurt in you at breakfast some days. If we try to help you, you put your hands over your mouth and then push our hands away. So, its been all finger foods the past month and honestly, its a lot of fun (but messy!). You eat what we do within reason. Some things you like and some you don’t…any form of broccoli, pasta or cheese will get snarfed down, but forget about blueberries, peaches or beans. I keep offering a variety of foods, whether you’ve refused them or not. You’re picky, but at the same time you’re not…you’ll eat some of what’s on your tray at every meal but some things you just won’t (carrots come to mind).

Since you’ve been eating so well we’re done with weight checks! Let’s hope you’re doing well at your 12 month visit…how could you not be with all you eat?!

This month you also mastered the sippy straw cup and have no issues with water or breastmilk. Its been an easy adjustment for you. You’re still nursing, but less than before…and rarely at night! Eliza, you also started sleeping through the night for 10-11 hours at a time! Now, not every night…some are a little rough. But, when you do you’re constantly moving.  I wish I could get a picture, but waking you up isn’t worth it…you sleep on your side, back and tummy with your bottom in the air. Super cute.

You play with all of your toys. Knocking over block towers or unstacking your rings are a favorite. You also love taking your puzzle pieces out of their spots. There’s also a fascination with empty bottles, Meli’s toys, Meli’s water/food bowls and all sorts of other things we’d rather you not play with…when you head into the kitchen I can bet that you’ll head right to Meli’s bowl and play in her water.

Speaking of moving…you’re moving faster on your tummy and do get on your hands and knees some. But..you’ve mastered the art of pulling yourself around with your hands…I’m not sure if you’ll crawl on hands and knees or not.

You’ve continued to jabber up a storm and I can tell your imitations are sounding more like real words, but no first words here yet. That’s ok, I can wait…but if you say dada one more time when I say mama…funny girl, hmmm?

I take more pictures and video of you I can count. (poor second child if there is one!). I know I’ll forget things. While we were gone for Christmas I held a newborn (which you did not like) and he felt so light. Its so easy to forget things like that, but I won’t forget how much you’ve brought to our lives and what a joy you are. love you always!

 

Saying good-bye

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good-byes

I just received word that my grandpa passed away.

I’d just heard last night that he was going to be placed on hospice care. His decline happened sooner than anyone thought. My dad and uncle were with him though, which was good.

Its so hard. So hard to imagine him not in our lives. So hard when he’s in so many good memories. Its just so hard to say good-bye.

And it makes me scared to walk this walk with my parents. I just…can’t imagine.

Times like these I wish we were closer. I hope we saw him enough over Christmas, I hope Eliza got to spend some quality time with him — she won’t remember, but we will. I hope he knew/knows how much he was/is loved.

So, today and tomorrow and all the days to come I’ll think of all those good memories of him. Family dinners, his love of ice cream, summer vacations, holidays, his propensity to take pictures while everyone was eating…

Love you grandpa. Say hi to grandma and you will be missed much.